Subconsciously, from birth until the age of around 7, children are in “programming mode”. At this stage in our lives our brainwave cycle is at the lower frequency of alpha or theta; the level we seek in hypnosis or meditation. This means that the first seven years of our lives; we are effectively in a highly suggestible state of “trance”.
And this makes sense. It is important for a child’s growth. In the first 7 years a child has to learn how to survive in this world, and it does this by watching, absorbing and developing a belief system based on observation and experience. At this frequency, the subconscious is like a sponge taking it all in, ready to reflect the behaviours it observes without criticism, objection or filter. This is the time our core beliefs are formed, beliefs we use to mold our values, our goals, our achievements, our friendship groups and the partners we choose.
So this gets a parent thinking doesn’t it? If you could choose any beliefs and qualities to scaffold your child’s future; what would you choose? Worthiness, self-esteem, health, security, confidence, joy, success, happiness, love… the list is long. The task is arduous. How can you teach and demonstrate these values consistently and constantly for your children? For 7 years! And if you actually could remain calm and positive in the face of the emotional chaos that is "being a parent"; how do you then protect your child from the actions, behaviours, and words of others that have influence? Teachers, grand parents, friends, aunts, uncles?
“If you don’t come with me now, I’ll leave without you!” “You're the funny one/athletic one/pretty one…” “Sometimes I wish I’d never had kids!” “Must you always be such a slob?” “Why can’t you be more like…?” “Why don’t you act your age?” “How could you be so stupid?” “Just do it – or else!” “Leave me alone!” “Shut Up!”
In fleeting moments of frustration words like these are said to our children. Of course we have no ill intent, and we often apologise afterwards, but a child in the first 7 years may not be able to connect the words and feelings with our remorse or intent. These words can damage our children's sense of worth or hinder them from achieving whatever their ultimate potential. Could our words sway our children's' desires... or extinguish their passions completely?
So let's talk about subconscious soup. In the first 7 years we pour ingredients in; some are delicious and sweet (love, affection, acceptance, happiness and compassion) and some are yucky and salty (criticism, negative comments, limitations of character). Unfortunately, just like any soup, we can’t take any ingredients out! If the soup is too salty and unpalatable there is no way to get that salt back out! So what then?
We could add more potatoes (happiness), or some more water (love) to cancel that bad taste. We can add a genuine sense of self-worth, we can add the unquestionable feeling of unconditional love, we can add happiness and acceptance, and maybe the belief that there is no limit to our child’s potential. These delicious ingredients balance the soups flavor and overcome and supersede the yucky taste... for life.
Enter SleepTalk®; offering parents the chance to balance the soup, to top up our precious children's subconscious minds with positive suggestions of love, acceptance and happiness.
Even after the age of 7, SleepTalk® gives parents the opportunity to directly fill their child with minds with an unquestionable knowing, of self-worth and unconditional love.
The process is simple, connecting and brings your family close together on the road to feeling calm, happy and "loved up". Just 2 minutes a night, every night (and I promise you they are a wonderful two minutes!)
My Story with SleepTalk® I began using SleepTalk® with my children 4 years ago. When our second child was born, our first became a different little person.
A wise maternal health nurse described it to me this way: "Imagine your husband, after loving you intensely for as long as you can remember; brought another woman home. Not only does he tell you that this new woman is coming to live with you, and that he loves her as deeply as he loves you, but he also says that you have to learn to love her deeply too!"
Wow! No wonder my son was angry. Now he is getting less attention, which makes him even angrier, which gets him some attention! And the cycle began.
I was sad for him; he was heartbroken, anxious, angry and unsure of his place. I was hopelessly disappointed in myself; I was busy with a newborn, doing too many things - it felt none of them well. I was exhausted and just could not give him the time or resources he needed from me no matter how hard I tried.
SleepTalk® gave both my husband and me the connection we needed with our children again. Our son began to feel love and acceptance within and he began to truly believe that he was "ok". Things were (and remain) happy for us again.
Our nightly ritual has not stopped, and it now feels right, in fact it has become an effort NOT to SleepTalk® to our children every night!
Our children still have their "moments", but SleepTalk® keeps us grounded, and creates a sense of comfort in our children. They feel comfort within themselves, that they are loveable, and truly, unquestionably and unconditionally loved. SleepTalk® has given us the opportunity to give them this gift, and it's easily the greatest gift of all... It's all that really matters...
I am a hypnotherapist, a mother to two SleepTalk® children and now a SleepTalk® consultant. I love helping parents discover the power and calm of this subconscious balance. There are only benefits in using SleepTalk®. Call Family Hypnotherapy today to find out more...